Frozen
by lostladyknight
Summary: Danny angst piece. Addicted to the freezing sting of snowy air in his lungs Danny sits on his roof reflecting on life and Valentine's Day.


**A/N**

**This is my first ever CSI New York fic. I've been wanting to try it out for a while but please let me know if it's any good. This was written for the Talk CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group's Critique by Challenge: Project II challenge which mandated that the story meet five bits of criteria. 1. Must be less than 1,500 words. 2. Must be PG 13 or lower in rating. 3. Must be written about a fandonm/ship/show/character you'd never written before. 4. Must be "Valentine's Day" and 5. Must begin with the phrase "It's snowing..." This is what I came up with. Being that I've never attempted Danny before I'd like some serious reviews about what I did well and didn't do so well so I can do better next time. **

**Special thanks to Bauerfreak, Racefh853629, Gaelen, and Althea for all of their support and help with this project. **

**Please be kind enough to review.**

**Many thanks,**

**-LLK**

_Frozen_

_By: lostladyknight_

"It's snowing..." Danny commented slowly as he looked up from his coffee mug. The first few flakes of a Valentine's snow were clinging to the deep gray of the cuff of his sweater. He jiggled his arm allowing the two flakes that had settled there to drift off their perch liberating them back into the world they had come from. He was sitting on the roof of his apartment building, legs dangling over the edge. His stone blue eyes watched as a breeze of air picked up the two snowflakes and entwined them with a whirring host of others as they continued their journey to the world beneath. He'd grown addicted to the cold sting that a deep breath of frozen New York air put into the pit of his lungs. He sucked another breath in, listening to it hiss as it passed his teeth and slowly exhaled it from his system.

Danny looked over at his companion and watched as another breeze tossed a free strand of her brunette hair around making it dance to the rhythm of nature in the city. He reached a hand out and rubbed her shoulder blades, giving her a half hearted smile. "We should go in. It's getting dark... and cold."

"No," it was a chirp more than a response. She looked at him with a pained silent plea dancing behind her deep brown irises. The frozen air had the same habit-forming effect on her. "I don't want to, not yet."

He ran his tongue over his lips looking for the right words but failed to find them. Finally he gave her a silent agreeing nod and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close so that her cheek rested on his chest. His lips twisted again as he tried to force back the tears that were clawing at his heart, begging to escape. Resting his chin gently on her head he squeezed his arms around her a bit tighter and slowly let go of his grief.

Frozen minutes passed, even at their sluggish pace, and the sun had long since left them. They sat washed in a sea of snowflakes that danced between city lights. Danny breathed in another deep breath feeling the bite of the frosted air deep within his lungs. It was the only pain that seemed to be a just counterpart to the ever present ache he felt playing in his heart. An ache he felt all the more vividly on nights like these when he could watch it so easily mirrored in the eyes of his friend.

"Rikki," Danny whispered, shifting his body away from hers. "We gotta go in... we've been out here for three hours."

"It's Valentine's day, you know?" She asked as she turned her face to look at him. Her lips parted tightly in a smile that betrayed her deep sadness. "Last year I didn't have a date and Ruben knew I was kinda down about it, you remember? I know he had to have bugged you for help. He made me breakfast in bed, heart shaped pancakes with chocolate chips in them."

"Yeah, I remember that morning," Danny couldn't help but laugh a little at the memory. This time the sting that came along with the deep inhale of iced air wasn't enough to quench the pain that swelled in his heart. His fist clenching involuntarily Danny slammed it down on the concrete next to him. He ran his thumb and forefinger in a circular motion over his temples. "I don't know if I've said it yet, Rikki, but I'm so sorry."

"You've said it," She told him. Her voice was coarse and monotone from from being cold, inside and out. She pulled the jacket Danny had given her when he'd first come to sit by her tighter around her shoulders. Staring out over the city she looked at the mess of lights studying each one individually as though she was going to find her answer staring back at her from within one. "I don't blame you Danny. If anything... I don't know where I'd be right now without you."

"I'm not goin' anywhere, okay?" He told her firmly. Running an open hand gently up and down her arm he pulled her close to him again. Saying quiet praises to the thousands of people far below him, Danny was thankful for the noise of New York. Without it he may never have been distracted enough "I mean that, I'm not gonna leave you. Not never."

They sat a while longer letting the breath of the world around them wrap them up in an embrace. Theirs was a friendship that had been tested but could not be broken. Danny scooted away just a bit and started weaving his hand in and out between the thick heavy falling snow. In time they were both sure to move forward. For right then, and every time they sat on this roof, they were given the rare ability to step outside of life and dictate exactly what the world's universal truths were. For that night Danny got the rare chance to freeze time and meditate on what was most important in his life at the time. Profound loss.

Unfortunately the spell cast by solitude could always be broken by reality.

"Don't you have a date with Lindsay tonight?" She asked, spreading her lips into the first real smile he'd seen on her since Ruben's death. She pulled away from him and stood though she didn't go far. Leaning forward resting a hand on his shoulder she looked out over the city and took in the entire world before her. Danny watched the raw pain in her eyes melt to a dulled acceptance.

After making the decision that it was time to shift back into real life Rikki gave him a grin. Lindsay had become a staple in his life and he knew his friend saw it. She was the source for his strength to smile and the passion behind his resolve to cope. Rikki gave him another broad cheeked smile and joked,"You don't wanna spend Valentine's Day with another woman... that's relationship suicide."

"Yeah I gotta pick her up in an hour," Danny told her. He stood and followed her to the door. Taking the knob in his hand he squeezed tightly on it and pulled it open. Evenings like this, on the roof, froze time so that Danny could relive any moment of his life and it was always difficult for him to step back down the cast iron stairs that led him back to reality. As soon as he stepped through that door the world would start spinning again and his life would continue without Ruben in it. The world wouldn't know that he'd lost someone he could never replace, nor did it care that his best friend would never see her son again without his likeness being shaded in foggy memories or torn photographs.


End file.
